


It's "Remus John Lupin"

by AvaJune



Series: Drabbles and Ficlets [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crushes, Ficlet, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 11:18:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaJune/pseuds/AvaJune
Summary: Prompt:What if everytime Sirius said Remus's full name, he made up a funny middle name? Like "Remus Serenity Lupin" or "Remus Fettuccine Lupin?"





	It's "Remus John Lupin"

Sirius was stalking him. It was the only explanation for the way the man managed to find him every, single time he finally managed to get a girl (more specifically, THE GIRL he had selected for his first date) alone. Isador Blackwood was one of the very few truly studious Gryffindors. She was clever, funny, pretty, and kind; in short, she was everything he was looking for in a casual girlfriend.

Due to his... issues, Remus was confident it wouldn’t be wise to get truly close to anyone, but he still thought it might be fun to date around a little. Maybe take her to Madam Puddifoots, kiss her after she finished one of her favorite sugar quills, cuddle with her in front of the fire in the common room. NORMAL stuff, man stuff. So he’d been attempting to ask her to the next Hogsmeade weekend for the past week.

And every... single... BLOODY time, Sirius showed up and ruined his big moment. He had to be using the map, the map Remus himself had helped enchant, and somehow that just made it worse.

“Isa!” he’d called out, running to catch up with her after Arithmancy. Arithmancy which, incidentally, Sirius DID NOT take.

“Hi Remus,” she’d answered shyly, waving her friends on as she tucked a lock of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m good,” he’d answered a bit nervously, gently clasping her elbow and pulling her to the side into a semi-private alcove. “Listen, I wanted to ask you if maybe you were free for-”

“REMUS SERAPHINA LUPIN!” Sirius’s voice had rang out from the corridor behind him. “There’s an owl for you regarding your mother’s panty hose, though why you have them I can’t say I quite understand-”

Remus had turned and tackled him, blushing ferociously and smiling through gritted teeth at Isador. “My middle name is definitely not Seraphina,” he told her while she looked on wide eyed with her mouth gaping open.

“Right,” she had said slowly, taking a step backwards. “We’ll just talk later then.”

She had turned away and Sirius had used his distraction to buck him off, pinning Remus beneath him as his prospective date walked away. Then he remembered what Sirius had said and his face flushed further.    


“I promise I don’t have my mum’s-” he’d started to yell from his spot beneath Sirius, but the boy had smothered his face with his hands, smirking wickedly.

“Don’t lie, Remi,” Sirius had told him with a guffaw, prancing away before Remus could hex him.

The next time had been three days later when he had waited for her in the common room after dinner and asked Isador if she’d like to go for a walk with him down by the Black Lake. She’d agreed and they were walking together by the water as Remus worked up his courage once again.

“I really don’t know what he was on about,” Remus had assured her as she laughed and told him it wasn’t anything to worry about.

They made small talk for 15 minutes or so until finally he turned to her and took her hand in his.

“Isa,” Remus began, nervously clearing his throat as she looked up at him with big, green eyes and a pretty flush to her cheeks, “I was hoping you might like to accompany me to-”

“REMUS LILIAN LUPIN!” Came Sirius voice from right behind the tree they were standing near. The voice startled him so badly that he jumped and dropped her hand, whirling around quickly to find his best friend and, quite possibly, murder him.

His quick motion surprised Isador so badly that she startled and unfortunately slipped on a loose bit of stone. He turned back quickly, arm barely grazing her sleeve as to his absolute horror she fell backwards and landed on her bum in the freezing waters of Black Lake.

Remus sputtered, reaching out to help her up with apologies while his cheeks flamed under his mortification, when he was tackled from behind and landed face first in the mud and water of the shore. He pushed up to on his elbows, rolling over and crushing Sirius behind him in the water before he turned and swung at him. His fist connected with the other boys cheekbone and Sirius laughed out loud, pushing at his chest and reaching up to twist his ear as he reversed their positions once more. 

The boys rolled and fought for long enough that by the time Remus remembered why he was mad in the first place, Isador was gone.

This time, however, he was determined it was going to happen. He grabbed her gently by the arm as soon as she emerged from the Great Hall after dinner, pulling her off to the side as the rest of the crowd passed by them on their way back to their respective houses. Sirius was serving detention since early afternoon and was supposed to be eating in the dungeons before resuming his punishment. Remus should be safe.

Isador looked very hesitant to speak with him. “Look, Remus-” she started, but he cut her off.

“I’m sorry, Isa,” he interrupted. “I’m very, very sorry. I honestly don’t know what’s come over him. Sirius is always a bit of a prat, but this has been... Well, anyway, he’s busy now and I still really, really need to ask you something.”

Isador paused, seemingly thinking it over before she sighed and offered him a tentative smile. “Alright, Remus,” she said quietly. “What did you want to ask me?”

“I was hoping that you would do me the honor of-”

“REMUS EMILINA LUPIN!”

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake!” Isador hissed under her breath, turning to fix Sirius with a venomous stare that he ignored as he bounded up to them with a wide smile. “You know what? No.”

She turned to Remus as he helplessly tried to reach for her, swatting his hand away and taking a step back. “Whatever the question is, Remus, the answer is NO!”

Isador turned on heel and marched away, leaving Remus to stare miserably after her. Sirius let out a whistle. 

“Merlin’s pants,” he said, nudging Remus’s arm with his elbow and smiling. “Women, right? So touchy.”

Remus bristled, turning to shove Sirius away. “I wanted to ask her to Hogsmeade, you absolute git!” he yelled, advancing on the other boy.

Sirius just smiled. “Why didn’t you say you wanted someone to go to Hogsmeade with?” he asked, clapping a hand on Remus’s shoulder that he attempted, unsuccessfully, to shove off. “I’m free.”

Remus sighed and rubbed his hands across his face. “No, you prat,” he said with exasperation as he looked gloomily at his feet. “I wanted a DATE.”

Sirius’s hand tightened on his shoulder and he cleared his throat, waiting until Remus looked up at him. Sirius wasn’t smiling anymore, but looking at Remus with a very serious gaze and something Remus couldn’t quite identify in his eye.

“Like I said,” Sirius said quietly, averting his eyes slightly to the wall beside him. “I’m free.”

Realization hit Remus like the Hogwarts Express and he stumbled.

“Oh,” Remus said blankly, before he looked up and smiled shyly at his mate. “Oh.”


End file.
